Kenyatta A

i support black & brown PERSONS OF CULTURE recover from the impact of white supremacy, colonization, patriarchy on the mind-body-soul.

my name is Kenyatta (they | she). i am Jamaican born and live abroad for 30+ years (lived in Canada, France, USA) and returned to my homeland 2022. i would like to acknowledge that i carry the traumas, joys and strength of my ancestors and they are walking with me.

EXPLORER • ACTIVIST • ADVOCATE • WOMANIST • NEURODIVERGENT • STORYTELLER • TRAUMA & RESILIENCY INFORMED • AUTISTIC • SOMATIC ABOLITIONIST • INTERPLAYER • DECOLONIZER OF THE MIND & BODY • INQUIRER • ARTIST • CREATOR • IMAGINAL • IN PROCESS

my story

coming from poverty, i believed the lie that money and material possessions will bring happiness and wellbeing. with a lot of ingenuity, i was able to complete my studies in computer science, math and french, which included living 1 year as an au pair in the south of france. that was where i met my ex-husband. after arriving at a fairly comfortable material existence, it was heartbreaking to discover the truth - material possession does not bring happiness. there was an empty hole inside of me and no material possession could fill it up. i came to the conclusion that this can’t be it, something essential was missing. i was having a early mid-life crisis that included suicidal ideation, depression and self-loathing (which masked itself as performative perkiness, bubbly, positivity, self-confident, etc. when deep down inside, i was disconnected, scared, doubtful and uncomfortable within myself). with some grace and support i was able to take another path…

i came in touch with the teaching and community of the late zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh and i was scared as i knew my life as i knew it was about to change. i started to practice his teachings and i began to touched deep joy within and my life started to change. i started to feel full inside: by gardening, attending retreats, and giving genuine smiles. all of which touched things within me that i didn’t know existed - namely inner peace. my suicidal thoughts that usually came after difficulties didn’t come any more (and thankfully still hasn’t returned, even after hitting rock bottom). after 5 years working in Information Technology (IT), i decided to leave my corporate life behind and ordained as a nun. i wanted to do this full time.

i was a zen nun for 8 years where i trained under the late zen master Thich Nhat Hanh. my training included understanding myself (mind & body) and healing myself through mindfulness practices. i was also trained in holding safe healing spaces for visiting retreatants (who stayed with us anywhere from a day to 1 year). in addition to adults, i have had the opportunity to offer mindfulness practices with children during family retreats at the monastery.

then covid came and hit my nervous system like a lighting bolt. all the years of ‘the joy of meditation’ went out the door. i could not sit anymore. luckily i didn’t force it. all the years of practicing were like contributing to a saving account and when covid hit, i withdrew all my savings and more. this was generational trauma. i had to start over and rebuild from the ground up. with grace, i was given everything i needed to do this. i got to know my nervous system very intimately and learnt to navigate it. it became clear to me that meditation alone cannot address trauma and the systems in place do not support healing.

my zen master sometimes shared that non-Vietnamese individuals must eventually return to their roots. i didn’t understand this until the day came for me to leave my life as a nun. with all my experiences & gifts received, my compass changed course. it has led me to return to Jamaica to see what can be done.

seeing the challenges children are faced with in our community in Jamaica, i would like to do something to help. helping children to have a good start is also helping the future of Jamaica that is rigged with various types and levels of violence & trauma. i continue to seek culturally appropriate ways to help and am open to learn new methods. after some time of working with the children in my local community, i also got to experience how intertwined their healing is with my own healing.

seeing the mark of racism, colonization & patriarchy on my mind and body, i am committed to gently continue to decolonize my mind and body, practice radical self-acceptance as well as help others do the same, especially my fellow Jamaicans and BIPOC* communities.

***black indigenous people of colour (BIPOC)***